Category: Invisible Disease

Do you accept yourself?

Have you ever asked yourself if you have accepted your life with a chronic illness? I hadn’t until a few weeks ago. I spent a lot of my time dealing with things that occur in my life and trying to overcome the trials and tribulations of having a chronic illness. I thought because I am going through the motions that I had accepted my chronic illness. I was kind of shocked when I thought about it. I have been sick all my life and I have yet to accept my chronic illness. If I think about the surgery I had in March 2018, my doctor stated all the problems that he was repairing because of my illness but I still didn’t accept it. I know I have a chronic illness but I think that if you don’t fully accept your chronic illness, it may become difficult to heal some of the emotional hardships caused by your chronic illness. Although the physical bumps and bruises healed, the emotional ones have not. You must also heal the mind and the soul, not just the body. I have been only working on accepting myself and my chronic illness for a short time but I have seen the benefits of self-acceptance. I recommend you try to work on your self-acceptance and see what it does for you. I will leave you with this quote “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ― Mark Twain

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5 lessons I learned this year – 2018 Edition

This year has been another life-changing one for me. I said that last year but it’s true this year as well. As I reflect on the events of this year I am hopeful that next year will bring more peace, joy, and happiness. I learned a lot about myself and others this year. Some good things and some bad but all of the moments had value. I am going to reflect on 5 lessons.

  1. Be kind to yourself and others. This is something I strive for on a daily basis. I believe that the universe is filled with energy and if you would like to get good energy and vibes from the world you must put the same energy out into the world. I have seen how this has greatly impacted my life for the better. I know with a chronic illness some days are tough but I encourage you to try this in the new year and I am sure you won’t be disappointed.
  2. Try new things. I tried a lot of new things and pushed myself out of my comfort zone. This was good for me. I encourage you to try new things this year and you might be surprised how many of the new things you love that may also make your life much easier.
  3. Find the right fit for you and nobody else. I notice that what works for me may not work for others. You are probably thinking, Duh? Am I right? I look for places that give me good vibes so I encourage you to do the same. If you have found your groove in the world in all the aspects of your life, I applaud you for that. If you are like me and have not figured that out yet I recommend that you keep searching for the things that feel right to you.
  4. Listen to your body. I said this last year but I think this needs to be mentioned again. I have noticed that when I spent less time thinking about what is good for my body and more time trusting that my body knows what it needs I have better days. I like to work on the basics of a happy life such as good sleep, diet and most importantly a healthy environment. This will give you a safe space so your physical, mental and emotional health can thrive.
  5. Worry less about the things you cannot control. This was very hard for me. I am a worrier and very opinionated. I would spend a lot more time thinking about solving other peoples problems more than my own. This created more problems than solutions. If I spend more time solving some of my problems, I feel better physically and mentally about the situation. Take the time to take of your needs more this year.

I am hopeful that next year will bring new experiences and new lessons that will help me move forward. I hope to share those ne experiences with you. Best wishes and Happy New Year! I will leave you with this quote “Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.” ― Brad Paisley

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Knowing Your Limits

I have been not feeling 100% in a few days now. I normally try to make the best of it on days that I am in pain such as this one. I decided I would write a new post about knowing your limits. Now, I am not great at this but today, I am attempting to have a rest day because the left side my body hurts from the neck down to my hip. In addition, my scoliosis is not happy today so I am leaning on that side as well. Overall, not a great day to do the things I might normally do…I know I am using the word normally but I want to assure nothing is normal about it.  This winter has started off a bit rough. I have had to were boots more than expected and I can’t seem to find a shoe that is not a boot to fit my Charcot Marie Tooth feet…but I am sure we all understand the pain of shoe shopping with a chronic illness. Today, I had a moment of clarity that I had reached my limit. This was a surprise to me that I knew when to stop. You might be asking yourself why is that a big deal because I am not completely exhausted yet. When I usually stop it is because I am very fatigued, have extreme pain or just plain old exhaustion that is preventing me from getting out of bed but this time I saw what was on the horizon. I am taking a day off before the universe decides to make me. This has always been something I have struggled with. When I was younger I would push myself and I would need a week full of rest just to recover. I am trying to learn this chronic illness. I was born with the disease but I was finally diagnosed correctly a few years ago and I am still learning what I have to adjust based on what I know now.  I understand that normalcy is out of the question when you have a chronic illness but making your life better based on good decisions can help ease the trials and tribulations of have a chronic illness. I know it is hard to voluntarily rest if you have a bit of energy but your body, mind, and soul will thank you. I will leave you with this quote “Everyone has the fire, but the champions know when to ignite the spark.” ― Amit Ray, Enlightenment Step by Step

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Invisible Anxiety

As a person with chronic health issues, I find myself with invisible anxiety. This anxiety is not seen by others but it is felt by me. I only notice it after I become very anxious. This invisible anxiety would present itself as frustration. I don’t feel that frustration is the best way to deal with this so I am trying to find a way to manage my anxiety in different ways. One of the reasons I feel that this invisible anxiety exists is because as a person with a disability I always feel less than. I try to push myself to be something I am not and may never be. As a consequence of pushing oneself, I become exhausted and this is when my anxiety begins. If I address it at that time, I may be able to calm myself down but if there is a life event that does not allow for a period of rest this anxiety begins to carry over. As this anxiety carries over it will reach a tipping point which in my case means complete exhaustion and rest for an extended period of time. The reason I feel that it is invisible anxiety is that during these days people usually do not see or hear from me. So it seems like I am always doing ok but in reality, that is the one good day I had that week. I do not have a disability that can be masked but I continue to try to make the best of a difficult situation. I have learned that the best way to conquer this anxiety is to make it visible maybe not to everyone but at least to yourself. Once that is done and you brought the anxiety from the darkest to the light, you can begin to deal with your anxiety in real time instead of waiting until you have no choice but to deal with your anxiety.  I will leave you with this quote “Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” ― Charles Haddon Spurgeon

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