Invisible Anxiety

As a person with chronic health issues, I find myself with invisible anxiety. This anxiety is not seen by others but it is felt by me. I only notice it after I become very anxious. This invisible anxiety would present itself as frustration. I don’t feel that frustration is the best way to deal with this so I am trying to find a way to manage my anxiety in different ways. One of the reasons I feel that this invisible anxiety exists is because as a person with a disability I always feel less than. I try to push myself to be something I am not and may never be. As a consequence of pushing oneself, I become exhausted and this is when my anxiety begins. If I address it at that time, I may be able to calm myself down but if there is a life event that does not allow for a period of rest this anxiety begins to carry over. As this anxiety carries over it will reach a tipping point which in my case means complete exhaustion and rest for an extended period of time. The reason I feel that it is invisible anxiety is that during these days people usually do not see or hear from me. So it seems like I am always doing ok but in reality, that is the one good day I had that week. I do not have a disability that can be masked but I continue to try to make the best of a difficult situation. I have learned that the best way to conquer this anxiety is to make it visible maybe not to everyone but at least to yourself. Once that is done and you brought the anxiety from the darkest to the light, you can begin to deal with your anxiety in real time instead of waiting until you have no choice but to deal with your anxiety.  I will leave you with this quote “Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” ― Charles Haddon Spurgeon

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